Hair today, gone tomorrow

So, I recently experimented with growing a beard. It did not come as a surprise to me that the result was an unmitigated disaster. What surprised me was that no one really commented on it until about two days before the end of the experiment. [The experiment ended when my parents--who had occasionally hinted that I should try growing a beard--saw the horrific results.]

While it would have been fitting with the tonsorial nightmare that is the 2004 Boston Red Sox, it was altogether a disturbing result, and one that was fortunately, to my knowledge, not captured in photographic evidence to be preserved and thus cannot be used against me.