Two touchdowns and a field goal

That was the margin of victory in the 25-8 shellacking of the Marlins at the hand of the Red Sox last night.

How ugly did things get for the Marlins?

• Two Marlins pitchers were pulled out of the game--before the first out. Their ERA's shot up roughly a full-point each.


• The Marlins needed 91 pitches, and nearly an hour, to end the first inning.


• The Red Sox improved their season batting average from .294 to .297--in the first inning. (It was "only" .299 by the end of the game.)


• Johnny Damon needed just a HR to hit for the cycle--and Todd Walker and David Ortiz needed just a triple. Damon only went 5-for-7 on the night.


• The losing pitcher, Carl Pavano, apparently can't catch a break: he has also had the misfortune of being traded by Boston--for Pedro Martinez, and giving up McGuire's 70th homer.

Just about the only way to make this more entertaining would have been if it were Toronto or New York being on the receiving end, just like the Indians were the last time "Boston won by two touchdowns." [Even though it would cause Steinbrenner to spend another $25 million on Yankee payroll, watching his utter anguish and torment as the loss unfolded might have been worth it.]